Chaos Theory: Chaos theory is the study of entirely random systems to see what patterns if any exist within so that predictions can be made in the future as to the regard of the impact of these systems (like the weather). Or it is a fantastic film starting Ryan Reynolds (who quickly is becoming my go to actor), this film tells the story of a man who lives his life efficiently with lists and goals for each and every day. Everything on his Agenda is timed to perfection. It isn't until something happens that throws first his schedule off by ten minutes and ends up rocking his world completely. The movie takes place around Ryan Reynolds telling his story to a groom who is having second thoughts about marrying his daughter. What he says at the end of the story is the summation for watching the film. He says (after explaining what chaos theory means) "there is nothing as chaotic and unpredictable as the human heart. The sheer changes that occur with excitement or sadness cause the heart to react with the amount of beats that is kicks out (all we really know is faster or slower). The heart because of it's emotional link to man is therefore the least unpredictable system in the world. The thing that will always make those emotional responses predictable and therefore the hearts reaction is Love. Human beings capacity to give and receive Love, the ability to forgive: betrayal, scorn, hurt will always exist within each of us."
I love that idea. As a matter of fact it assures me that God exists, breathes and moves among us. The capacity to Love I believe is not a learned human trait but much like our moral system comes from something much greater then us. Through the Love we have been shown creates in us this capacity. Essentially I have been led to believe that we Love with that which God has Loved on us with. And yet we still have a choice as to how we give and receive Love
I have become increasingly more aware of the presence of God with me all day every day. I think it was during a prayer where I was inviting God into our discussion or something like that, but it struck me that I did not need to invite God, just acknowledge that he was there and he was moving, not for His sake but for mine.
We think of God as a chaotic mystery that we take whatever bit of information that we have and yet we feel so distant. I think knowing who God is (holy and loving) factors greatly into understanding how we fit into the chaos that surrounds us. That the presence of God exists as we bear the image of our creator, through the community we share with the Son and with the Spirit moving within us and around us. I'll continue this thought through a couple of other things I've noticed in other arts I've experienced within the past two week, I just didn't want to write a huge smattering of words.
All I know Love as it turns out is not as Chaotic as it may seem.
At least those are all my thoughts at the time.
CJ-Out
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Jesus for President
This past week I have had my gut wrenched in tension. I finished Shane Claiborne's new book Jesus for President and then heard him speak on the subject. I also have observed somethings this past week and this evening that have allowed me to see things a little bit newer.
In the book Shane and his boy Chris Haw painted a picture of the political history of Israel. They talked about our relationship with God and the struggle that existed there in the B.C. They also brought out the startling color of Jesus' presence in the world and His teachings. The idea was that Jesus was not passive and He was not violent. Through His teachings he taught Love above everything else. That those who want to hurt or violate us can be disarmed with Love.
Shane and Chris then translated this teaching on Jesus to modern day America or "The Empire" as they called it. After reading through this book I can't say that I completely agree with everything that they are saying (it wouldn't be a good thing if I did) but their position has forced me to think and look at exactly what I believe myself. So as a result I am sitting in tension (my favorite word for the past year).
I had taken students to see Shane and Chris speak and in the discussion afterwards they were constantly throwing out "what if" questions out. I am not a big fan of these questions (because there will always be another what if) but I entertained the "what if" questions asked by the small group of students that fit into my parents Pacifica. I don't know if they were happy with my response because I told them we had to live in Tension, that it is a good thing to live in between places. If we don't get that turning feeling in our stomachs about an issue then we are not living up to the potential that God has created us to.
If you do pick up Jesus for President I'll tell you the same thing I told my students, that you have to remember (and this is displayed very well in the book) that whenever you are confronted with big issue questions you have to take them back to who God is and God has shown us over and over again throughout history that He is Love (compassion) and Holy (justice). Tension is a wonderful thing isn't it.
In the book Shane and his boy Chris Haw painted a picture of the political history of Israel. They talked about our relationship with God and the struggle that existed there in the B.C. They also brought out the startling color of Jesus' presence in the world and His teachings. The idea was that Jesus was not passive and He was not violent. Through His teachings he taught Love above everything else. That those who want to hurt or violate us can be disarmed with Love.
Shane and Chris then translated this teaching on Jesus to modern day America or "The Empire" as they called it. After reading through this book I can't say that I completely agree with everything that they are saying (it wouldn't be a good thing if I did) but their position has forced me to think and look at exactly what I believe myself. So as a result I am sitting in tension (my favorite word for the past year).
I had taken students to see Shane and Chris speak and in the discussion afterwards they were constantly throwing out "what if" questions out. I am not a big fan of these questions (because there will always be another what if) but I entertained the "what if" questions asked by the small group of students that fit into my parents Pacifica. I don't know if they were happy with my response because I told them we had to live in Tension, that it is a good thing to live in between places. If we don't get that turning feeling in our stomachs about an issue then we are not living up to the potential that God has created us to.
If you do pick up Jesus for President I'll tell you the same thing I told my students, that you have to remember (and this is displayed very well in the book) that whenever you are confronted with big issue questions you have to take them back to who God is and God has shown us over and over again throughout history that He is Love (compassion) and Holy (justice). Tension is a wonderful thing isn't it.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Numb
It is interesting to me I have spent the entire week living with entirely no privacy always being interrupted or asked to do something and constantly having to entertain or try and enlighten the students that were around me. On my first full day of being off of the houseboat I found that I missed those things. I missed constantly being around people, being able to affirm my students and to discourage any negative perceptions that they would put on themselves (diminishing their view of themselves). I took a long nap today but around 8 I also started to feel very tired I was at a gathering so I pressed through and once I got home I decided to do some reading (Jesus for president, more on that in another post). I couldn't focus on that as I thought I was to tired to grab what Shane was throwing at me. So I grabbed this film numb that was actually do on Thursday and thought if nothing else I could let the acting of Matthew Perry put me to sleep. What I found has got the wheels turning in my head at the moment so there is now way I could sleep without working them out here.
For those of you who have not seen the film, it is about a man who because of a mental issue feels like the world existing around him is not there. He is "numb" to the feelings that he is experiencing and questions whether physical things are really there at all and because of this he feels uncomfortable and anxious all of the time (solitude and the golf channel are the only things that make him comfortable). He freaks accordingly with this and begins a mission seeking therapy, drugs and even a 4 day stay at a institution that is doing research on his disorder. When he begins first dealing with his mental que he meets a girl and finds out that she is the only person he can even feel remotely comfortable around. Like all great love stories he ends up sabotaging the relationship and then realizing he has to get her back (his go to line was "I'll love you for the rest of my life, it would really help if you were around for it").
I love how we exist in tension because I found a common and personal line that existed within the week I just experienced and the film I just watched. The thing is we are all not ok, we have been blessed to live in this glorious mess. We are forever marred by sin and will always live as human beings in tension. In this tension we must remember that we are created in the very image of God Himself. As we know we are not ok we can not look for other people to carry us the length of the marathon. People exist in our lives to help us move towards (and some away) from God and His promise. When we lean entirely on people who are just as flawed as we are we will start to hear things that are not true.
We begin to put limitations on what we think we can do, we begin to find value in not how God created us or what we should think of ourselves but in the opinions of others. Kealand my younger brother has this thing he does when I correct him sometimes. He will tell me "that is only an opinion (often times this is when I give a fact but I think it provides the illustration)." His view of reality is not determined on the truth that I bring into it. I noticed that with this week when students had the spot light thrust upon them, their confidence would die a little bit. Whether they were following an awesome wake boarder or simply waiting their turn to wrestle on the tube of despair, they would most times shoot out a self deflating comment, or they would just give up and allow victory to slip from their grasps.
This makes me sad because there were so many times growing up and there are still in fact times that I allow the views of others to dictate what I can and cannot do. I never played baseball growing up because I knew I would never be good at it, I never asked someone out in high school because I didn't think I was worthy of having a relationship like that, these and many more things paralyzed me throughout most of my youth.
God created us in tension for a reason and that is that we will not be afraid to fight and to learn from our failures. I heard a story about Mike Lowell (third baseman for the redsox), when he was growing up his father would take him and his brother to the batting cage and then to ice cream afterwards. The only stipulation for the ice cream was that they swing at every single pitch. He was showing them that in baseball and ultimately in life you have to not be afraid to swing. We will miss and we will strike out but actively seeking to make contact, to pursue something better so much better then just giving up and letting the strike go by unprovoked. I said at the beginning of last week that I was aboard to create opportunities for my students. I am now actively seeking opportunities to swing for them as well as for me.
At least these are all of my thoughts at the time.
CJ-Out
For those of you who have not seen the film, it is about a man who because of a mental issue feels like the world existing around him is not there. He is "numb" to the feelings that he is experiencing and questions whether physical things are really there at all and because of this he feels uncomfortable and anxious all of the time (solitude and the golf channel are the only things that make him comfortable). He freaks accordingly with this and begins a mission seeking therapy, drugs and even a 4 day stay at a institution that is doing research on his disorder. When he begins first dealing with his mental que he meets a girl and finds out that she is the only person he can even feel remotely comfortable around. Like all great love stories he ends up sabotaging the relationship and then realizing he has to get her back (his go to line was "I'll love you for the rest of my life, it would really help if you were around for it").
I love how we exist in tension because I found a common and personal line that existed within the week I just experienced and the film I just watched. The thing is we are all not ok, we have been blessed to live in this glorious mess. We are forever marred by sin and will always live as human beings in tension. In this tension we must remember that we are created in the very image of God Himself. As we know we are not ok we can not look for other people to carry us the length of the marathon. People exist in our lives to help us move towards (and some away) from God and His promise. When we lean entirely on people who are just as flawed as we are we will start to hear things that are not true.
We begin to put limitations on what we think we can do, we begin to find value in not how God created us or what we should think of ourselves but in the opinions of others. Kealand my younger brother has this thing he does when I correct him sometimes. He will tell me "that is only an opinion (often times this is when I give a fact but I think it provides the illustration)." His view of reality is not determined on the truth that I bring into it. I noticed that with this week when students had the spot light thrust upon them, their confidence would die a little bit. Whether they were following an awesome wake boarder or simply waiting their turn to wrestle on the tube of despair, they would most times shoot out a self deflating comment, or they would just give up and allow victory to slip from their grasps.
This makes me sad because there were so many times growing up and there are still in fact times that I allow the views of others to dictate what I can and cannot do. I never played baseball growing up because I knew I would never be good at it, I never asked someone out in high school because I didn't think I was worthy of having a relationship like that, these and many more things paralyzed me throughout most of my youth.
God created us in tension for a reason and that is that we will not be afraid to fight and to learn from our failures. I heard a story about Mike Lowell (third baseman for the redsox), when he was growing up his father would take him and his brother to the batting cage and then to ice cream afterwards. The only stipulation for the ice cream was that they swing at every single pitch. He was showing them that in baseball and ultimately in life you have to not be afraid to swing. We will miss and we will strike out but actively seeking to make contact, to pursue something better so much better then just giving up and letting the strike go by unprovoked. I said at the beginning of last week that I was aboard to create opportunities for my students. I am now actively seeking opportunities to swing for them as well as for me.
At least these are all of my thoughts at the time.
CJ-Out
Saturday, June 14, 2008
show up in tension
So I am finished with UnChristian and Blue like jazz. I feel challenged about where my eyes and heart are set after reading them. If I could only choose one word to describe the feeling that these books launched me into, it would be tension. I have been teaching my students for the last year and a half that we are made to live in tension. That the forces of our sinful desire and the promise of Jesus are pulling at us, that Chaos and Peace are at war and we are the prize. I don't know if they've heard me at least they are polite and knod or laugh when I make a joke in between my thoughts on tension. The truth is we do exist in tension, as Rob Bell has put it we were not made to live as Angels (or the Divine) or Animals (or the Profane), because of our sin we are thrust into the middle between promise and chaos.
About 5 or 6 years ago there was a tv show that only lasted one season. I am pretty sure my pop and I were the only one who watched it, but it was on ESPN and it was called "Playmakers." This was when ESPN was trying to become more then just a sports reporting news network (experiment was a failure). This show however dealt with the day in and day out goings on of a fictional professional football team. It showed the moral ambiguity that existed in the lives of the players. It was a fun show and since I spent the majority of my childhood building football teams on madden football (I believe I averaged 20 or so a month, I had a short attention span). Anyway there is a scene in a certain episode where a player knows he is outmatched and he will be beaten over and over again by a certain player. He stayed in the locker room as his team left to go play the second half. His coach comes over to him and ask's him what is up (it had just come out that the coach had prostate cancer in this episode as well and was having his first chemo after the game). The player asks him "how do you do it? How do go up against something that is so much bigger then you? With all of the odds that are stacked up against you, how do you handle that?" The coach response to him was "you know guys like you and me all, the poor slubs that we are, all we can do is to just keep showing up."
It was so simple and yet when I heard it floored me. All I was asked to do in the fight for my soul was to keep showing up. To not give up the fight, but to relish in the fact that I was apart of this saga, this story since Adam and Eve were deceived.
Those were all of my thoughts at the time at least.
CJ-Out
About 5 or 6 years ago there was a tv show that only lasted one season. I am pretty sure my pop and I were the only one who watched it, but it was on ESPN and it was called "Playmakers." This was when ESPN was trying to become more then just a sports reporting news network (experiment was a failure). This show however dealt with the day in and day out goings on of a fictional professional football team. It showed the moral ambiguity that existed in the lives of the players. It was a fun show and since I spent the majority of my childhood building football teams on madden football (I believe I averaged 20 or so a month, I had a short attention span). Anyway there is a scene in a certain episode where a player knows he is outmatched and he will be beaten over and over again by a certain player. He stayed in the locker room as his team left to go play the second half. His coach comes over to him and ask's him what is up (it had just come out that the coach had prostate cancer in this episode as well and was having his first chemo after the game). The player asks him "how do you do it? How do go up against something that is so much bigger then you? With all of the odds that are stacked up against you, how do you handle that?" The coach response to him was "you know guys like you and me all, the poor slubs that we are, all we can do is to just keep showing up."
It was so simple and yet when I heard it floored me. All I was asked to do in the fight for my soul was to keep showing up. To not give up the fight, but to relish in the fact that I was apart of this saga, this story since Adam and Eve were deceived.
Those were all of my thoughts at the time at least.
CJ-Out
Monday, June 09, 2008
My Front Porch
I love it sometimes when things that I am reading come together. I take it as a sign that I am on the right track. The beginning of something. A little bit ago I wrote about a book I started called UnChristian. I don't know if I would say it is a eye opener, but it confirms many of the things I feel about the misrepresentation that is currently behind the tag Christian I will explain why I say misrepresentation in a sec). The other book I picked up for the first time (I know I am nearly a decade behind everyone, but I wasn't chosen by that book until now) Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller. These two books go together like lamb and tuna fish.
UnChristian talks about how the we as Christians are representing our own name sake (Jesus) and Blue shares thoughts about what Christianity should be (it reminds me of Mere Christianity). There is a section where Don Miller is speaking about how him and a campus group set up a confessional booth in the middle of a well known anti Christian campus. The only trick was that they were not taking confessions they were giving them. They were apologizing not for the ways others have misrepresented their faith (although they mention how embarrassed they were for those things), such things as the Crusades, Slavery, Missionaries wiping out entire indigenous people, Manifest Destiny, Salem Witch trials (ok that wasn't a big one but I think someone is owed an apology). But they would talk about how they personally have not lived out the message and mission of Jesus (to seek, love, serve, the least the last and the lost).
I was thinking about these two books the other day as I was driving through a neighborhood and I started to notice the houses around me. I didn't like them, they were big and glorious and looked perfect, but none of them had front porches (I have had a thing for wrap around front porches). Every house had an immaculate deck on the back (that was filled with other toys: pool, hot tub, etc.) but all they had was a front door with a step. I don't know when front porches went out of style but I really want to go back to those times. Because what you have with a front porch is a gathering place, you see people as they are going and as they are coming, you can sit and carry a conversation with someone across the street. Now it is get into your house as fast as you can.
Well as I drove through I was thinking that our houses are very much like how many Christians (me included) live their faith. We don't have any front porch's any more, we seclude ourselves to what we do on Sunday's and we talk about how great it would be to go to Africa and cure HIV/AIDS. We talk a lot but here is the thing I keep finding all of that talk is just hot air and it truly amounts to nothing. Much like the morning mist it will dissipate with the first rays of light.
I have notices many people building front porch's, those who desire to see people who we pass and neglect on our sprint into our castles. I so long desire to be one of those people, I have been convicted in my own life that I am not living with a front porch, that I am not inviting those outside of my safe haven into my life. I suppose that if I were to confess I would say that I truly desire to serve God but my selfishness causes me to hesitate, I talk about helping the poor but and I will as long as there is nothing good on tv. I say I am concerned about spreading the Gospel, but the reality is I am to busy thinking about what apartment I would like to move into, or what car I would like to buy. Because of my position I sometimes feel that I am doing enough for the kingdom, but in the end I am just as lazy, forgetful and uninterested as some of my students. I can talk a good game, but the actions of my life would scream something different.
I am in the pursuit of now building a front porch and much like how I challenged our whole congregation to last Sunday, to open my eyes and see the needs, hurts, pains that are around me.
At least those are all my thoughts at the time.
CJ
UnChristian talks about how the we as Christians are representing our own name sake (Jesus) and Blue shares thoughts about what Christianity should be (it reminds me of Mere Christianity). There is a section where Don Miller is speaking about how him and a campus group set up a confessional booth in the middle of a well known anti Christian campus. The only trick was that they were not taking confessions they were giving them. They were apologizing not for the ways others have misrepresented their faith (although they mention how embarrassed they were for those things), such things as the Crusades, Slavery, Missionaries wiping out entire indigenous people, Manifest Destiny, Salem Witch trials (ok that wasn't a big one but I think someone is owed an apology). But they would talk about how they personally have not lived out the message and mission of Jesus (to seek, love, serve, the least the last and the lost).
I was thinking about these two books the other day as I was driving through a neighborhood and I started to notice the houses around me. I didn't like them, they were big and glorious and looked perfect, but none of them had front porches (I have had a thing for wrap around front porches). Every house had an immaculate deck on the back (that was filled with other toys: pool, hot tub, etc.) but all they had was a front door with a step. I don't know when front porches went out of style but I really want to go back to those times. Because what you have with a front porch is a gathering place, you see people as they are going and as they are coming, you can sit and carry a conversation with someone across the street. Now it is get into your house as fast as you can.
Well as I drove through I was thinking that our houses are very much like how many Christians (me included) live their faith. We don't have any front porch's any more, we seclude ourselves to what we do on Sunday's and we talk about how great it would be to go to Africa and cure HIV/AIDS. We talk a lot but here is the thing I keep finding all of that talk is just hot air and it truly amounts to nothing. Much like the morning mist it will dissipate with the first rays of light.
I have notices many people building front porch's, those who desire to see people who we pass and neglect on our sprint into our castles. I so long desire to be one of those people, I have been convicted in my own life that I am not living with a front porch, that I am not inviting those outside of my safe haven into my life. I suppose that if I were to confess I would say that I truly desire to serve God but my selfishness causes me to hesitate, I talk about helping the poor but and I will as long as there is nothing good on tv. I say I am concerned about spreading the Gospel, but the reality is I am to busy thinking about what apartment I would like to move into, or what car I would like to buy. Because of my position I sometimes feel that I am doing enough for the kingdom, but in the end I am just as lazy, forgetful and uninterested as some of my students. I can talk a good game, but the actions of my life would scream something different.
I am in the pursuit of now building a front porch and much like how I challenged our whole congregation to last Sunday, to open my eyes and see the needs, hurts, pains that are around me.
At least those are all my thoughts at the time.
CJ
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
UnChristian
I recently started a new book, well I suppose I start a new book each week, it is just a matter of whether I will pick it up after the first time I crack it or now. I have gone months even years without picking up a book for a second time. I like to think of it as if I am just not in the right place or the right time to really catch what is in that book (this was the same for all of my college books I held on to). But I picked up a new one today (well actually two) and I cracked it open, I think it will hold my attention for a while. The title of the book is UnChristian, and I am just assuming it is the latest Barna group book to emerge since Revolutions (an extreme idea of modern church but ultimately lacking the accountability that God calls us into). This book is not written by George Barna but by the president of the Barna Group David Kinniman.
I have just finished the beginning and hald way through the first chapter of the book (I fell asleep at one point, but not because of the book) and the focus of the study that is presented in this text is a look at the major turnoffs that exist within Christianity (notice I didn't say Church). This three year study looked at what this new young generation (16-30) thinks of this religion called Christianity. There was one quote that stood out to me that I believe is the summation of what Kinnaman is working to get across, "often the perceptions of Christianity reflect a church that is infatuated with itself."
This is actually something I have struggled with for a long period of time, I cringe whenever I see a Christianity section in a book store and I have a hard time crying out in outrage whenever I have a parent ask me to help them get their student to listen to only Christian music. This is not what God intended! Do we really need a million different version of the bible (I am talking about all the cute, bible for singles and end of days bible and every man's battle bibles, etc.) and a hundred books that promote our own diet. God did not tell us to create our own world to live in but to actively change this world and not with oven mitts on (I guess that is my new favorite saying).
When I talk about oven mitts, I am talking about handling things as safely as possible. As the CHURCH we should not wear oven mitts (perhaps I will just write my own follow up called oven mitts). I don't know if any of what I just wrote is in the book, but those are my thoughts on this issue. I'm sure I will post again as I continue to read more.
Those are all my thoughts at the time at least,
CJ-Out
I have just finished the beginning and hald way through the first chapter of the book (I fell asleep at one point, but not because of the book) and the focus of the study that is presented in this text is a look at the major turnoffs that exist within Christianity (notice I didn't say Church). This three year study looked at what this new young generation (16-30) thinks of this religion called Christianity. There was one quote that stood out to me that I believe is the summation of what Kinnaman is working to get across, "often the perceptions of Christianity reflect a church that is infatuated with itself."
This is actually something I have struggled with for a long period of time, I cringe whenever I see a Christianity section in a book store and I have a hard time crying out in outrage whenever I have a parent ask me to help them get their student to listen to only Christian music. This is not what God intended! Do we really need a million different version of the bible (I am talking about all the cute, bible for singles and end of days bible and every man's battle bibles, etc.) and a hundred books that promote our own diet. God did not tell us to create our own world to live in but to actively change this world and not with oven mitts on (I guess that is my new favorite saying).
When I talk about oven mitts, I am talking about handling things as safely as possible. As the CHURCH we should not wear oven mitts (perhaps I will just write my own follow up called oven mitts). I don't know if any of what I just wrote is in the book, but those are my thoughts on this issue. I'm sure I will post again as I continue to read more.
Those are all my thoughts at the time at least,
CJ-Out
Monday, February 18, 2008
things that make you smile
I recently had one of those moments in ministry where you remember what you love about students. The main teaching room where Middle School teaching time is held on each Sunday morning, holds my office chair in it (I taught from it one sunday and haven't taken it back yet). Now it becomes a race between each of the guys for who gets to sit in that chair during my lesson. Our church does a family, community worship to start the Sunday and then each age moves into it's own separate teaching area. Sometimes students will hang out in the class room instead of going to family worship, so I have started locking it up and then opening it when we come back for teaching time.
Well on my way back to the class room after worship I saw one of my 6th Grade students (Christian) running ahead so he could be the one who sat in the seat. As I turned the corner for the hall way to my class room I saw Christian sprinting towards the door that he believed to be unlocked. He hit the door at a full sprint and since the door was locked he ran head first into the door being shot back to the floor. When I got to the class room he was sprawled out with a couple high school students making sure he was ok. You gotta love Middle School Students sometimes.
Well on my way back to the class room after worship I saw one of my 6th Grade students (Christian) running ahead so he could be the one who sat in the seat. As I turned the corner for the hall way to my class room I saw Christian sprinting towards the door that he believed to be unlocked. He hit the door at a full sprint and since the door was locked he ran head first into the door being shot back to the floor. When I got to the class room he was sprawled out with a couple high school students making sure he was ok. You gotta love Middle School Students sometimes.
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