Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Drawing

I just recently started to begin reading through the Psalms (one each day), as a major part of how I attempt to try to connect with God each day. I chose the psalms because I feel that the psalmist captures the most basic human emotions through their writings. Also I made it my quest a long time ago (with some divine prompting) to truly pursue a heart like David’s. What I found today however really stuck with me, mostly because it really stuck to a thought that was spoken about this past Sunday.

This last Sunday the main text that we looked at was Daniel 3, which focused on Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. The message was centered on worship, and how through the good and bad times we get the opportunity to worship. A point was made to set up the main idea of the message, was that Shad, Mesh and Benny’s reaction was to draw near, close to God and not to draw only to themselves. They decided that they were safer if they were to lean on God and not make it through on their own. It reminded me of why I hated Jr. High and to some degree High school so much. Instead of finding Godly people or relationships to really help me out when I felt the world weighing on me, I decided to bully back the world. I did this by making fun, picking on, ridiculing those that were smaller then me (which was many different people). It was the only way I knew how to deal. When I drew to myself I really just dug myself deeper and deeper into a hole. In High school I would attempt to impress the most popular students, one of the reasons I didn’t date in high school was because I was only interested in the incredibly popular girls that were unobtainable. I would invest in relationships that would leave me ridiculed myself and severely hamper my self confidence and self esteem (in many ways I am still recovering from this).

With this thought in my mind I have started to read the Psalms, and within each of the Psalms David talks about how he is under siege from all sides and how his despair is so deep and the betrayal and hurt that has been invoked upon him is unbearable. In each of these Psalms however he draws back to God, he understands his current state, his fear, his despair but then he moves and draws himself back into Gods glory. He reminds himself of who God is and the impressions he has already left in his life already. He is vulnerable enough to know that he needs help, he can not do it all on his own. Within Psalm 5:8 David says “Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness, because of my enemies make straight your way before me.” His first reaction is to draw close to God, to reconnect in his most important relationship. When we draw close to the Lord we connect with other people that know Him, we look to His scriptures, like the Psalms, so that we can see how someone who might have felt the same way we do, deals with the pain and we worship. Through the sweet and sour that life throws at us the one consistent is that God is there, whether we care to look for him is up to us.

Cj-out